I want to share with you how this girl, at 24, was running away from everyone in her life determined to never go back to all the feelings of inadequacy she had.
When I took this photo, I was…
🥺 The second grandkid in my generation of cousins and siblings
🥺 The first one to graduate from college and also go to grad school
🥺 24 and single when all the girls my age were already married and having kids
🥺 Running away because I was convinced that nobody would ever marry me because I was fat and bigger than most men (at least in Mexico)
🥺 Believing in the thought that my family could not love me and accept me as I was, fat and single so I had to go and find my own place in life
Searching for my worthiness…in all the wrong places (and men)
I went into hiding. The only thing I felt confident in and knew I could rely on was my smarts. And it worked. I graduated two years later weighing 250 pounds, even bigger than I was when I took that photo. Even though I was about to start my working life, I felt anything but accomplished. At 26, I told myself I was too fat and too dark to be liked by men.
I spent the next 20 years looking to be loved and accepted by my family and I knew for that to happen I needed to be married. I couldn’t go back home still unmarried, so I married the first man who asked me before anyone could find out my real agenda.
In the process, I ended up sinking deeper into my low self-esteem. My most unhappy years were when I was married for the simple reason that I wasn’t really in love with any of my three ex-husbands. I resented them because I felt I had to be with them in order to be loved and accepted by my family.
My breaking point and the sign from the universe [Make this bigger sub-heading text]
Things took a dramatic turn after my second divorce when I realized something had to change. That is the moment that I started my journey of self-discovery. Studying, reading, doing therapy and personal coaching. The breakthrough that finally put an end to my chase of worthiness was when my ex-husband hit “strike three”. I think it was the universe intervening so I could have this “mind shift” about my worthiness and finally set myself FREE.
At that moment I realized…..
🤗 My weight, my marital status, having children, being smart…did not define my worthiness
🤗 I was worthy of love and acceptance just as I was
🤗 I had accomplished a lot in my life, and I should celebrate myself rather than expecting other people to do it for me
That moment became the catalyst for EVEN bigger shifts and realizations to happen….
🤗 I started to see myself as a smart, confident and beautiful woman who any man would be lucky to have
🤗 I started to live a life of gratitude
🤗 I finally realized what I wanted to do with my life and went for it, quitting my job and starting my own business
🤗 I stopped letting any man through the door, realizing I deserve an amazing man who is already on the path of growth and living his best life
🤗 I decided I DEFINED my reality, and I had the POWER to change it
🤗 I started to love my body completely and doing things to keep it healthy and strong
🤗 I eliminated my addictions to food, self-judgment and victimhood and replaced them with a healthy lifestyle, meditation, vision boarding and goal setting
This wasn’t a magical pill, where one day I woke up and EVERYTHING in my life was different. But like any change, the most important step is making a DECISION.
Deciding that you’ve had enough and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to live the life you desire.
You may have read that list and thought well if I lost weight, changed jobs, moved or found a new husband then I’d be happy and feel good about myself too.
WRONG. I remember when I lost a lot of weight and it was still not good enough for my mother. Or when I brought a husband home, my family always found something to criticize about him.
Nothing OUTSIDE of you can make you happy, it truly is an INSIDE job
I like to use a construction analogy when I talk about self-esteem with other women. The only way to make a house that will withstand a flood, earthquake or snowstorm is by building it with a very strong foundation. Our foundation as women is often our weakest link.
The belief system we have about who we are, what we are capable of accomplishing, what we deserve in life…this is the foundation of our strength, our self-esteem and our confidence.
If you don’t feel beautiful because of your weight and believe that losing weight will make you feel beautiful, let me tell you something…it won’t. It might at first but it’s not sustainable. Your body will continue to change. You might gain weight again, develop scars on your body, get wrinkles or sagging skin as you age.
You are setting yourself up for FAILURE when you think about achieving self-confidence or self-esteem this way.
The belief “I will feel beautiful when sets you up for failure
If what you want is to OWN your life, your self-esteem, your self-worth, your beauty, your value…in other words, feel that you are GOOD ENOUGH, then you have to make one crucial mind shift that will carry you through life as the most resilient, empowered and confident woman.
You must change YOUR PERCEPTION of yourself.
This is exactly what I did. It sounds easy, but in reality, it’s a PRACTICE that we shift over time.
I no longer believe or see myself as unattractive, fat, a reject from men, or a childless woman.
I believe and see myself as the most amazing woman I have the honor to meet in this life and I can’t wait to see how far she can go. AND I want the same for you.
Watch my FREE training:
How to feel Beautiful and Confident: Discover the 4 key elements to getting anything you want
Whether you want to feel more beautiful and confident, change careers, find love, start a business, the formula is the same.
In this FREE Video Training, you will learn:
✔️The critical MINDSET shift you must make to experience BIG transformations in YOUR life, your self-esteem and your confidence.
✔️The ONE thing that is keeping you stuck in a vicious cycle of low self-esteem
✔️ How loving yourself, loving your body and feeling confident has NOTHING to do with being skinny, young-looking, have a mommy makeover….and everything to do with one critical thing.
✔️ How you are SABOTAGING yourself from being happy, feeling beautiful and good enough.
✔️ The simple strategy that can help you FEEL BEAUTIFUL just as you are – yes, really!
✔️ A specific action plan for creating YOUR BIG life TRANSFORMATION forever
By signing up for this FREE video training, you’ll also join my FREE Daring Greatly Diva Community where I offer free monthly coaching and weekly tips to boost your self-confidence and awaken your beauty. Click here to join the community and access the How to feel more confident and beautiful video NOW!