This simple exercise will teach you how.

After speaking to hundreds of women, whether they’re married, single mother’s or divorced, I know this to be true. Too many women, have trouble saying yes to their desires, dreams and their own health and care.

Our cups are empty – it’s time to fill them up Between raising kids, running a household with all the chores that come with it, errands, working full time and being a caregiver for a loved one or friend, taking care of ourselves, easily gets pushed to the bottom of the list. Often when I speak with women, doing a boudoir session is one of the first thing’s they’ve really ever done for themselves or at least the first thing in a very long time. But we deserve better than this. Instead of just thinking of taking ourselves to the spa, to that girl’s weekend or buying a new dress just once in awhile, what if we said YES to ourselves every day or at least every week.


Ladies, it’s time we say yes to YOU (and not to the dress)

Let’s be honest, when we think of doing something nice for ourselves, how often do we follow through on it? Most often we just see barriers as to why we can’t take care of ourselves – we don’t have enough time, money or resources or we can’t because we need a babysitter, our house needs cleaning or our boss, partner, or friend needs us. If we want to be really honest with ourselves, these so called “barriers” are really just excuses.

It’s easier for us to deny taking care of ourselves and make an excuse than to say yes to the possibility that we’re worthy of love, care, attention, gifts – whatever we desire. What’s really happening when we say no to taking care of ourselves, is this deeply held limiting belief, that we’re not enough.


It’s time to get out of our comfort zone
Letting go of limiting beliefs and making changes – are SCARY things. Because doing nothing keeps us in our comfort zone, it’s the easy path. The comfort zone where we wake up 20 years from now, wishing we hadn’t put everyone and everything else ahead of our own desires and dreams.


If you’re ready (which I know you are….why else would you be reading this if you didn’t feel a pull in your heart to start listening), let’s dive into one of my favourite exercises to start saying YES to what you most crave.

It’s list making time
Ready? Grab and pen, curl up in a cozy and quiet spot and make a list of all the things you want for YOU. These are your desires, wishes and cravings. All the things you want to do for you and only you (not for your kids or husband or anyone else).

Maybe it’s travelling to Hawaii, giving yourself a new spring wardrobe, quitting your job, learning another language, getting a house cleaner, a spa day or going back to school. Or maybe for you it’s about getting in shape, taking care of your health, learning how to apply your makeup, getting a style consult or even learning to ride a motorcycle.

List anything and everything that comes to mind – even if they feel too luxurious, impractical or out of reach right now.

Let’s make it happen

Now that you’ve got your list, it’s time to get specific and write all the ways you can make those dreams, desires and wishes happen. For example if your desire was to lose weight and feel confident, you can list things like hiring a personal trainer, signing up for a marathon, going to the gym or buying DVDs and working out at home.

Whatever the desire or dream, there are many ways we can make it happen. Write down every possibility that you can think of – even the one where you go to Bali for a month and have a dedicated personal trainer and nutritionist to support you in getting in shape.

Time to get practical

Once you complete your list, it’s time to go through it and cross out any desires that feel unrealistic right now. Leave any on the list that you believe you can make happen with the time, money and resources you have right now.

Focus on what can fit in your schedule and is easy to implement right away. Maybe you begin with going for a walk on your lunch hour or walking the stairs. Or maybe if you can’t join the gym, you can watch some YouTube videos or take out a nutrition book from the library.

Trust me on this one, if there’s a will, then there’s a way.

I hear you. You might be saying, but my back or knees hurt, or I can’t get up that early or fit anything else in my schedule or even the weather is too hot. If you find yourself coming up with excuses, ask yourself “Is this really true. Is it an obstacle or is it an excuse?”. Coming up with excuses and blaming other people, is the easy out. What takes real courage and commitment is taking ownership of our life.

Change takes time and it’s uncomfortable. There’s no magic pill or hack that makes putting ourselves first and easy switch. But once we start committing to these changes, you’ll experience the momentum, feeling of accomplishment and what it feels like to FINALLY do something just for YOU. It’s just a matter of asking yourself “how bad do I want this?” and then going after it.


It’s time to give yourself the LOVE and respect you deserve by taking care of you. After all it’s the first step to becoming an empowered woman.

If you’re interested in being a part of a community of women who are committed to putting themselves first and living an empowered life, then I invite you to join our totally free Daring Greatly Diva Community. Click here to join.

In the meantime, I’d love to know, what’s on your list? Share in the comments below and let’s support one another.