After a divorce or bad breakup, it’s not uncommon for women to feel the impact on their self-esteem and self-confidence.
If you’re currently in the middle of a bad breakup or divorce or struggling to recover after either one of them, I want you to know, you’re not alone.
I’ve been divorced three times and after each one, I felt the impact on my self-esteem.
I struggled with feeling like I was a failure or that I was unwanted.
I want to share with you 10 strategies that’ll help you feel more confident and beautiful starting NOW:
Strategy #1 – Decide DIFFERENTLY
The first essential strategy is to DECIDE that your future is not your past. LOOK….it’s easy to get caught up in the story that nothing will ever change. BUT we forget that we have the ability to CHOOSE our future.
Try using an affirmation like “I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. Each day I get to take part in creating my dream life.” or “My life is unfolding in perfect order”.
Strategy #2 – Uncover your Beliefs about yourself
In order to support ourselves and nurture our self-esteem and worthiness, we need to be clear about our current belief system. This strategy is all about first noticing and second documenting and shifting your current beliefs about yourself.
You can use a notebook or a voice memo if it helps you to document the current stories you’re replaying in your mind. Once you practice observing you’ll start to notice themes about your beliefs, they might be around worthiness or belonging.
Begin to introduce new beliefs that support how you actually want to feel. You can use affirmations, you can collect positive comments other people have said about you and keep a “compliments file” or you can write out the new beliefs you want to practice in your journal.
Strategy #3 – Be CLEAR about your desires
This strategy is all about giving yourself permission to explore what it is you truly want. We can’t make progress or live our desires if we don’t know exactly what we want. Now, this can be an overwhelming exercise for some women as we’ve often repressed our desires. Know that you can continuously update and refine your vision and desires as you grow.
Tip: Remember to trust yourself and get started by asking yourself questions like:
How do you want to feel?
What do you want to achieve or experience?
Where do you want to go in life?
Strategy #4 Don’t say I didn’t warn you…. Taking MASSIVE ACTION
Ouf…this strategy is DEFINITELY the most uncomfortable…because yes that’s right you guessed it….you’ve got to get out of your comfort zone. THIS is essential to break the pattern of feeling stuck, lost and disempowered. THIS is what will build confidence and trust in yourself.
Tip: In order to complete strategy #4, you need to complete strategies #1-3, so that you know WHAT that first uncomfortable step and action is going to be.
Look at your answers to the questions in strategy #3.
Work backwards from the goal or result you want in your life and look at those first few steps. Pick one that both EXCITES and SCARES you and give it a try.
Strategy #5 Write yourself a Love letter to your younger self
This can be an empowering exercise where you can tell yourself all of the things you need and want to hear and affirm about yourself. Click here to read the one I wrote to my younger self and get inspired.
Strategy #6 Develop a practice of complimenting yourself each day
This might mean looking in the mirror after you get dressed and saying something kind to yourself or it might look like putting your hand over your heart and telling yourself how much you love YOU!
Strategy #7 Surround yourself with inspiration and challenge yourself to grow
Sign up for a class on a topic you’ve always wanted to learn about, listen to podcasts or read these inspiring books. Learning new skills or completing something is a great way to give yourself a mini confidence boost!
Strategy #8 Acknowledge yourself
Often we get so focused on growth, we can forget about all the progress we’ve made and the ways we’ve healed, so don’t skip over this step and give yourself some much-deserved praise!
Get ready to catch the microphone AND finish this sentence…
“I am proud of myself because….”.
Strategy #9 Rewrite your own definition of beauty
Write your own definition of what beauty feels and looks like to you. Keep this definition handy and call out the beauty you see in yourself and other people.
Strategy #10 Make a list of things that make you feel confident and beautiful!
When we’re struggling to feel confident and beautiful it can be easy to forget all of the activities that help us feel that way. Maybe for you, it’s hosting dinner, volunteering in your community, or expressing yourself through fashion or writing that makes you feel confident. Maybe getting your hair done or moving your body makes you feel beautiful.
Pick one thing from your list and make time for it this week!
I hope these strategies help and inspire you to become the best version of yourself.
Looking for more resources to help you feel confident?
The Ultimate Confidence Power Checklist that every woman needs
Uncover your score. Power up your confidence right away with my practical strategies + tips.
Argentina Leyva – International Photographer & Confidence Coach
For the last 13 years, I’ve had the honor of helping over 3,000 women. I use boudoir photography to help women transform the way they feel about AND see themselves so that they can elevate their self-esteem, boost their confidence and feel BEAUTIFUL!