How mature couples are using boudoir photography to spice up their relationships.
Updated: Jan 15
Intimacy is not over after 50 and boudoir for mature couples proves it!
New generations, I'm talking 30 and under, think that being 50 is "old" and intimacy is over at that time. But on the contrary, sex gets better with age but it doesn't happen by itself, you have to put the work into it.
Bodies respond different, emotions are different, expectations are different after 50.
When couples have been married for more than 10 years, let's be real, there are times in which intimacy is scarce or non-existent. Kids, jobs, responsibilities, stress, busy schedules...often push intimacy to the back of the list. Lack of desire by women is common after having kids or when going through menopause and many of my clients have expressed how they don't feel desire to be intimate with their husbands because they don't feel sexy anymore.
They tell me how their husbands still find them desirable and tell them they are beautiful all the time but they just can't see what their husbands see. These women want to be more intimate with their husbands and have used couple's boudoir photo sessions in order to create an intimate experience beyond the bedroom.
But let's be real, most of the hot intimate couples pictures you see in websites and social media portray only young and well shaped couples. So, what about mature couples? the couples with busy lives that couldn't keep up with the college football workout routine or the gymnastics lifestyle? Where do we leave the couples in their 50s, 60s and 70s who are still in love with each other and are actually having the best sex of their lives now that the kids are gone, they are retired and are focusing on each other? Where are they being portrayed in social media and websites?
Well, that is what I have been doing for the past 10 years, I have been photographing mostly couples 50 and over. Some have been married for decades, some are in second relationships but they all have one thing in common...
Mature Couples Enjoy Each Other's Bodies and Intimacy Better Than Ever!
So, how does it work? How do you prepare for a couple's boudoir shoot when you don't have perfect, young bodies anymore? When childbearing and gravity has taken its toll on women's bodies. When men's mid sections are not a 6-pack anymore and both bodies have flexibility issues...? Is it still possible?
YES! It is possible to have hot boudoir photos when you are a mature couple!
But first, let's be real, sex is MESSY! If you have ever played with your husband or partner taking polaroid pictures being intimate, there is a huge stretch between expectations and reality! You get a lot of laughs, have a great time doing something fun together, but probably end up burning those pictures!
A Couple's Boudoir photoshoot is not about sex, it is about intimacy and connection. That is why I don't focus so much on the outfits, the bodies or the poses for a couple but on directing them in their interaction with each other to create intimate moments. And these moments may not require a man to be undressed, which is good, because many of the husbands I photograph are not excited to take their clothes off and prefer the photoshoot to be more about their wives.
I love how I slowly start to introduce a husband to a photoshoot. When he is just there to watch and not be part of the photoshoot but next thing you know, he is the photos, mostly as what a call "a prop" or a "fly on the wall".
Men are visual and love to watch so that is exactly what I do!
I get them to watch, and little by little, they have no problem doing a little bit of leaning over their wives, allowing them to touch their chest, unbutton the shirt and boom...! now they are uninhibited and more than willing to be a more active participant of the shoot!
Of course, that is my approach for the shy husband and I do this per his wife's request.
But there are couples that purposely want to do a 100% full-blown couple's session and they know they are not 20 anymore so are more than happy to follow my recommendations on how to prepare and how to shop for their boudoir shoot.
In terms of outfits, a man can be in just jeans and a button-down shirt while the wife can be wearing lingerie to shape and slim down her body. The appropriate lingerie along with professional hair and makeup, will help her feel more sexy and less self-conscious about her body imperfections. You can download my lingerie guide to help you prepare for a boudoir shoot here.
When it comes to boudoir poses for mature couples, flexibility is the biggest issue, more than being in shape.
My favorite poses for couples are the ones where the body is placed in a natural pose like lying down. As I mentioned, I like to focus on directing the couple more than posing them. Talking them through their own intimate moments and remembrances of the best memories to get them to giggle first and finally getting them to re-enact those intimate moments, and THAT is the moment when I snap the winning shots.
Boudoir poses standing up are always good because they slim down naturally a woman's body that is wearing the right lingerie, like a corset. And it gives unique opportunities to recreate moments that can happen naturally in the daily life of a couple, like the husband coming behind his wife in the kitchen to kiss her behind the neck or run his hands along her body while she is helpless with busy hands making dinner making her laugh.
Imagine that scene in the real moment wearing pajamas with no support whatsoever, bad hair, no makeup and your husbands gut showing...would you hang that picture in your bedroom? Or would you rather have something like the image above, well planned where the intimacy is there along with the bodies looking their best and having great hair and makeup along with sensual or fun facial expressions?
Let's be honest, what we have been sold in movies, magazines and social media as being sexy and intimate, doesn't come close to the reality of real couples ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS.
But something that is better than movies and planned social media photoshoots, is the real love, connection and intimacy that exist in couples that deserves to be honored, photographed and enjoyed in the same way or even more, since it is REAL couples and AUTHENTIC feelings.
These are not new relationships, these are seasoned relationships that have gone through years of knowing each other, learning to love, accept, support and forgive each others. They have gone through challenges together, good time and bad times, and despite everything, they are still together by choice. This perseverance deserves to be honored and cherished and boudoir photography is a great way to do this.
Love, intimacy and connection gets better with age.
Boudoir photography helps couples reconnect, fulfill fantasies, increase intimacy, crate memories, have play time, explore their boundaries or...have a great story to tell. Worse case scenario these images give couples a good way to threaten the grand kids if they go into their room without permission!
Sex and intimacy does not end after 50, it has the potential to grow to a new level by exploring each other in ways you never have. Our bodies fade with age, but our love and desire for each other will remain forever. These images give couples a way to remember who they truly are and how great they are together.
Visit my Couple's Boudoir Galleries to see how mature couples are celebrating their relationships.